As a young girl living in Kenya I remember vividly staying at various lodges with my parents, and how awesomely effortless the management appeared to my innocent eyes. They were chic, they were elegant, and their perfect staff whirled around them, everything falling into place, whilst they sat at the bar drinking Pink Gins, chain-smoking Embassy blues and chatting with their guests. I wanted to be one of these people, and my plan was to get a degree in Hospitality and then, fully qualified in my own mind, launch myself into the industry fully equipped to handle the simple daily procedures of what made these amazing boutique jewels come to life. Sadly, It turned out that a degree in hospitality, or even tourism management was not nearly enough of what was needed to keep a remote self-sufficient paradise going.
The reality was harsh indeed, and I learned quickly that changing a tyre, fixing a leaking loo, stitching together a tent, delivering a baby or rescuing and nurturing orphaned (and often very dangerous) wild animals was a normal part of the manager’s job, as was creating an artistic and gastronomic marvel out of a green pepper, tomato and a cabbage when supplies failed to arrive.
Managing a remote camp is often all about improvisation – if any of you were fans of “MacGyver” you will fully appreciate the art of ‘making a plan’ as he so often did when having to get himself out of trouble armed with nothing more than a tooth brush & a pineapple! You learn very quickly that if things can go wrong they will, so brace yourself, because if it has already gone wrong it is about to get a whole lot worse. Dashing around a Kopje trying to keep lion cubs out of a private house, equipped with a lighter and wearing the latest fashion ‘ballerina’ shoes in tick infested grass was one of the many things I have had to do in order to keep our ship on a steady course. Think of a crazy story and I can guarantee you that there will be a camp manager out there who has done it, been chased by it or almost drowned in it. However, in nineteen years of bush life, the one thing I have learned is that I have NOT seen it all.
In every silly season, there is always a library of ridiculous stories that have happened, and unfortunately for us, this ridiculous story happened only a few weeks ago. I won’t go into the details, but the bottom line is that it all happened BY ITSELF, no one touched the car, it just switched itself on, slipped into reverse in the dead of night and proceeded to drive backwards down the hill and roll into the river. Yes, all by itself. Thankfully we have incredible friends Rihaz Sidi & Ian Mcrae – both of whom came to our rescue and despite an over-heating engine & a broken propshaft, the two of them managed to put ‘KAT 392U’ back on its feet and into a workshop by 4pm the next day….it was in #Amboseli only days later!!!
Other horror stories which happen behind the scenes catch you unawares. At the end of last month a delightful child unfortunately left his ‘teddy’ at the lodge and we had to somehow re-unite them somewhere in the far reaches of Kenya. I say this was a horror story purely because as a mother, you simply want your children to be happy and if they are happy then so are you. Losing a comforter is catastrophic, especially when you are thousands of miles from home. Thank you #Safarilink!
Finally it goes without saying that Kenya is about to embark on it’s 6th multi party election since independence. Ofcourse the news of the world is having a field day printing stories on how it could all go wrong, if it all goes well we shall hear nothing more. One cannot help but feel that there are those out there quietly willing Kenya to sink down a black hole of violence so that they can appear to be the one with ‘insider knowledge’. Sadly I do not have any insider knowledge, but I know Kenya and what makes it stand head and shoulders above everyone else is the incredible people that live here. We wish everyone a very peaceful election and may the best man win……..And advice to the loser, from a generally hated, feared and most un-pleasant little man – but yet wise words indeed “Anyone can deal with victory, only the mighty can bear defeat” …1942 AH
